Round 4 Goes to Rich

Hello and best wishes to all.

Keeping perspective, that is the trick. Especially when crawling through the few days following chemo. But perspective has to be long term. This too will pass.

The docs tweaked the meds so that this round I kept my cookies down. Not that I had any cookies, or much of anything else for that matter. But I am thankful for the small victory. So much of this game is mental. After experiencing treatments you come to have expectations. Some of which are simply Pavlovian responses to the experience. For instance the odor of the chemo and memory of the infusion room are enough to trigger the memories in my mind that have negative effects. These are such powerful chemicals that they leave cumulative signatures etched in the brain even. Sometimes there is what seems like a flash that transports your body and brain to the feeling of the chemos full effect, for days after the treatment is over. Another example is you start to know and predict the milestones that you will pass. Starting to have an appetite again on day 3-4, feeling well enough to function day 4, watching my weight rebound day 5 and trouble sleeping day 4-5. Other milestones seem to be less predictable. There has been a cumulative effect of lightheadedness and disequilibrium that seems to hang on long into the good two week phase of the cycle. I have noted this affect over the past couple of cycles and was concerned. The docs gave my a brain MRI last week to make sure all was normal and the results don't show anything. So though they can't really explain it to me I believe it must be the cumulative effects of the treatments. In any event I was feeling up to my normal 1 hour walk last night which felt good. Sometimes I have to keep reminding myself to push harder, for the greater good.

The other good news of the treatment scene is that follow up CT scans were taken last week which show good results. This means that I will only have 2 more rounds of chemo. Yeah!!! Now the focus will turn to the next phases.

One phase is having a stem cell transplant. This is where they take my own stem cells from my blood, purify them and store them. Then they give my additional high doses of chemo that kills the immune system and hopefully all remaining cancer cells as well. Then they reintroduce the stem cells into my body and they reengraft into the bone marrow and from there recreate a new immune system. Sounds like science fiction doesn't it? But in fact this is probably the most important step. The chemo I am receiving now kills the cancer on more a macro level. The transplant hopefully will kill it on the molecular level. I will be scheduling a meeting with the transplant team in the next couple of weeks to discuss the details.

Since I am on a clinical trial currently there is also the protocol to consider. The protocol calls for receiving the experimental drug by itself (Avastin) for an additional six months after the chemo treatments. The doc said that I could short circuit this six months and move right into the transplant. However the advantage may be that it would allow my body to heal a bit from the current six rounds of chemo before embarking on the transplant regimen. Not sure which way to go yet. I do know I would like to take a break, however I don't want the cancer to get a break.

Lets talk about things more pleasant. The Olympics. Well when you don't feel like doing a lot of traveling and your looking for cheap entertainment it seems to me that you can't go wrong here. The games have been exciting with plenty of disappointments and triumphs and unexpected results. Volleyball is more exciting to watch than I thought, with games in the rain and the heat there has been plenty of drama. The swimming speaks for itself, really amazing. For me the most memorable was the come from behind anchor leg of Lezak in the mens 4 X 100 meter free style race, that was a truly heroic performance to gain a gold when it certainly appeared lost. His single split time was faster than the world record by a bunch. Of course Phelp's win by 0.01 sec in the butterfly was amazing also.
Certainly the gymnasts are an unbelievable group of youngsters. It is hard to comprehend the dedication and work that goes into building those bodies. Such an emotional roller coaster as they worked so hard for so many years for a few brief seconds of performance. It is amazing they can do anything when they get there.
I think that the Chinese have done a very good job. Considering where they have come from and the horrors of their history, they have a lot to be proud of. I salute their efforts. Now we know what $42 billion will get you. The overall good from these games has to be worth it. China still reminds me of the USA, with a lot of ambition and drive, but with decades to go before the people receive the freedom and liberties I am sure they desire. This further opening up should help.

Then there is politics. Did I say let's talk about something more pleasant? Well it is here whether we like it or not. This year I was given a gift of a subscription to the Wall Street Journal, just in time for Newcorp's Rupert Murdoch take over. Although I have read the Journal casually with admiration for years I have never read it regularly till now. The thing that I always enjoyed was their eclectic, off the wall articles about a variety of subjects that I didn't find in other publications. Well they still seem to have some of those and they do make the reading worthwhile. But now that I am reading it more regularly the right wing bias is making a much bigger impression, and I might add is getting pretty hard to take. Some of their editorials are down right ridiculous. Like their chastising Justice Kennedy about the Supreme Court decision on the Guantanamo Bay detainees, which allowed them a day in court. I had to write them on that one (they did not publish it). Anyway they are certainly the advocate for everything Republican and pretty consistently opposed to everything Democratic. There treatment of Nancy Pelosi is pretty harsh and unbalanced.
The big news today is Joe Biden running with Barrack. I hope it turns out well. I liked his presentations when the primary debates were going on, I though he was more straightforward and less posturing than any of the others. As a casual observer of his over the years I had previously thought his off the cuff remarks were sometimes rash and not thought through, hopefully that won't be an issue.
I am hoping for a President that can start bringing the country back together. I am sick and tired of everything being a calculated political position. The monumental problems we face cannot be addressed until the President engages the American people in the issues and makes everyone realize that all of us are going to have to part of the solutions. By far our financial situation is the most pressing issue. If we can't get a handle on the national debt we may find that in our lifetime our living standards will diminish much more significantly than they already have.
I think that the President needs to be an inspiration to Americans. Someone who can talk strait and engage the public is a rare gift. That is primarily why I think that Obama will get my vote. I have always respected John McCain, I think he is honest and diligent and I do believe he is a maverick. But I think his time has past and that it is time for a new vision with different energy.
Wonder how many people I can piss off with these comments?

Please take care and live life every day, it is precious.

Rich