Hi today to friends and family, one and all. Back to the living.
The Good. This is truly a daily journey. The trick, I am still learning, is how to fully appreciate each day. I have a tendency to waste way too much time. Things I want to do and accomplish end up in the manana pile. It is easy to fall into this trap, perhaps too easy because of the retired time I am able to enjoy.
This trip breaks down to 3 distinct time periods. Week one is not good, more about that later. Week two is recovery where everything is looking up and I can tell that my strength is returning. Then week three rolls around and there is the double edged sword of feeling normal, yet realizing that lurking around the weekend bend ahead is a week one.
Last week was a pleasure. I was walking every day for at least an hour. I managed to go to my favorite gym class, the exercise ball core training both Tuesday and Thursday. Great feeling to sweat the body up and feel that you are helping it to keep strong.
Went to the onc on Friday and he is clearly pleased with the response I am having to the chemo. The only real visible sign that can be monitored is the tumor under my left arm, which had shrunk a great deal more since our last visit. And though the doctor is able to feel a lymph node under my right arm it is very small and it may be normal size.
Over the weekend we spent time at Tahoe and went to Homewood to jazz concert with friends Scot and Teresa from Sacramento. This was a fun but mildly cool and breezy evening. The music, by favorite guitarists of ours Strunz and Farrah was great. They have a blend of music that sounds at once Middle Eastern and South American, I guess due to the fact that that is where they are each from. They had a percussionist with them from Cuba that played a unique Cuban instrument that was a blend of washboard sounds and bongos and greatly enhanced the overall sound. The other group, which we were not personally familiar, was a high energy saxophone player and his group called Euge Groove. Now this is a jaded crowd of listeners, from young adults to quite older patrons. He struggled for a while trying to figure the crowd he was playing to. But in the end he had us all dancing. His high energy and "getting your funk on" style got us all into the act. Truly the mark of a good entertainer.
Sunday was a rush to return to Sacramento to have blood tests done and prepare for Monday. I found that the lab does a good job and I got the results in a couple of hours, so that I could in turn fax them to Stanford so they could look at them early Monday and approve treatment for that day.
The Bad. I am learning to NOT LOOK FORWARD to these Mondays. Although it went smoothly enough, only a 12 hour day instead of the 15 hours of last time, it is still trying. The doctor was glad to see the progress I have made with the reduction of the tumor under the left are being most pronounced. She is talking like 6 treatments may be enough. I will be having a follow up scan done in about two weeks so that they have an objective way of measuring the results to date.
The discussion turned to nausea. What a revolting development that is. When I visited my Kaiser onc he approved three more anti emetic (nausea) drugs to try, I was able to pick all but one up for Monday. So I was carrying 4 different prescriptions (2 preexisting) to Stanford to see what they thought, since I was more or less totally confused about what to do. The last round of chemo had left me very nauseous for 1 1/2 days and I was hoping to mitigate that. Well they did have there own other ideas. So they included an injection into my chemo protocol for another drug that is supposed to last for three days of relief. Sounded good to me. I was reading the order and this drug is not even listed and they had to write it in the area where the symptoms are listed at level 3/4 the most severe. That made me realize I must be pretty sensitive to this stuff. It is funny that after the first round I was not sick, just did not feel well.
Well onto chemo, this went smoothly and the actual administration of the Avastin plus other poisons only took about 3 hours. Much quicker than last time. So we were on the road home by 6:30. I even felt well enough to drive. A good sign I believed.
The Ugly. I appears to be like clockwork. You can almost set your watch by it. The witching hour came and I was making love to the toilet again. Thank goodness I was smarter this time and did not try to eat much after chemo, only nibbling a bit.
I won't dwell on this, but suffice it to say Tuesday was ugly, Wednesday was only a wee bit better and it was not till today that I could really eat anything. But amazingly you get through it and here I sit feeling like I am mending, after having several good meals to help make up for the last 2 days.
Looks like I need to have more discussions with the docs about tweaking the anti emetic drug regimen.
On the bright side the chemo is working, I am more and more optimistic each day. I can literally feel the difference again in the past three days as the tumor shrinks further under my arm. Is is somewhat remarkable.
A Small Accomplishment. I did spend yesterday and today reading Lance Armstrong's "It's Not About The Bike", the tale of his journey to the dark side and then back to the light. It is about his encounter with testicular cancer which metastasized to his brain and lungs, his surgery and chemo battle and his inspirational journey back to new life. Perhaps his biggest lesson learned was the discovery of a purpose for his life that transcended beyond himself to be an inspiration for many others in similar situations. Life is a force to be reckoned with. It is powerful and calls to us.
I wish each and every one of you good health, it is certainly precious. Now I am off to take a walk.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Leaving Comments on This Blog
Hello to all. Thank you so much to those of you that have left comments, I do read all and am very grateful for your support.
Several friends and family have told me that they tried to leave a comment but could not. I wanted to write to see if I can help with this. If you don't have a google account, you need to sign up for one. It is not intrusive and they do not send you junk mail. These are the instructions:
1. Click on "comment" link below one of the blog entries. This takes you to the page where you can leave a comment. At the bottom of this page there is a place to sign in with your user name and password. Sign in before you post a comment. If you don't have an account go to step 2.
2. Below the user name and password boxes it says "No Google Account? Sign up here". Click this link and you go to a page where you can create your user name and password for your Google Account. Create your user name and a password. That is all there is to it.
I do not think you will receive junk mail from this. Google seems good about these issues.
If you have any problems with this pleas let me know. Send me an email at richlehnert@msn.com. Hope this works to clear up the problems. I was truly hoping this would be easy to use.
Thanks
Rich Lehnert
Several friends and family have told me that they tried to leave a comment but could not. I wanted to write to see if I can help with this. If you don't have a google account, you need to sign up for one. It is not intrusive and they do not send you junk mail. These are the instructions:
1. Click on "comment" link below one of the blog entries. This takes you to the page where you can leave a comment. At the bottom of this page there is a place to sign in with your user name and password. Sign in before you post a comment. If you don't have an account go to step 2.
2. Below the user name and password boxes it says "No Google Account? Sign up here". Click this link and you go to a page where you can create your user name and password for your Google Account. Create your user name and a password. That is all there is to it.
I do not think you will receive junk mail from this. Google seems good about these issues.
If you have any problems with this pleas let me know. Send me an email at richlehnert@msn.com. Hope this works to clear up the problems. I was truly hoping this would be easy to use.
Thanks
Rich Lehnert
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Get A Life
Life Interrupted. I guess that is what it feels like the most.
On 7/7 I had treatment #2. Which resulted in the following week being fairly difficult. Nausea and vomiting for a day and half followed by heartburn for the rest of the week. And it was not due to the wild ride of the stock market, although that did not help. You can always count on Carol to have the camera ready and she had to take photos of me sitting in the recliner with bags hanging from the rack and tubes in my arm. Darling shot.
The week also was hot and ugly with smoke and fires all around and not any good fresh air to breath. Don't think I have ever seen it that bad in the Roseville area. We always seem to get some relief from the Delta breeze, not so for that week.
Had to finish the job the chemo started. The amount of hair in the sink and shower was increasing daily and what was left was looking pretty thin and splotchy. So went to Rick and said it was time. Out came the razor and buzz away went the rest of the hair. Talk about startling, every time I pass a mirror I wonder who that is!! This is going to sound awful but the comparison that keeps hitting me is to the image of survivors of the Holocaust. It is such a stark change that even a week later I still do a double take when I see myself.
We took a couple of days and went to Tahoe to get out of the bad air in Roseville. Well the bad air was there also, but not nearly as bad. It is rare when you don't have blue skies most of the time at Tahoe. We did not see blue sky at all this time. However it is always good to be there.
The second week after chemo I find that I am concerned about doing too much or being exposed to people because this is when my blood counts are at their lowest. It is another reason why life is so interrupted. I think I need to break out of this because, other than a daily walk in the evening, I am not doing much (did kick butt at Scrabulous). Oh yeah I fixed the sprinklers. And I watched the stock market go up and down like a yo yo.
We recently watched a documentary DVD called Jesus Camp. That was an eye opener. Kids as young as 10 being indoctrinated and essentially brainwashed by the Evangelical church. These kids are certainly too young to be making their own choice. But the fervor and emotion whipped up by the adult and parent leaders was awesome. Makes me see how something like the polygamist group in Texas could be so powerful in establishing a cult.
Looking forward next week, the third between treatments, should be the best week with blood counts up and feeling most normal. But then the anxiety of the next treatment round will start to set in also. The best advise truly does seem to live one day at a time.
On 7/7 I had treatment #2. Which resulted in the following week being fairly difficult. Nausea and vomiting for a day and half followed by heartburn for the rest of the week. And it was not due to the wild ride of the stock market, although that did not help. You can always count on Carol to have the camera ready and she had to take photos of me sitting in the recliner with bags hanging from the rack and tubes in my arm. Darling shot.
The week also was hot and ugly with smoke and fires all around and not any good fresh air to breath. Don't think I have ever seen it that bad in the Roseville area. We always seem to get some relief from the Delta breeze, not so for that week.
Had to finish the job the chemo started. The amount of hair in the sink and shower was increasing daily and what was left was looking pretty thin and splotchy. So went to Rick and said it was time. Out came the razor and buzz away went the rest of the hair. Talk about startling, every time I pass a mirror I wonder who that is!! This is going to sound awful but the comparison that keeps hitting me is to the image of survivors of the Holocaust. It is such a stark change that even a week later I still do a double take when I see myself.
We took a couple of days and went to Tahoe to get out of the bad air in Roseville. Well the bad air was there also, but not nearly as bad. It is rare when you don't have blue skies most of the time at Tahoe. We did not see blue sky at all this time. However it is always good to be there.
The second week after chemo I find that I am concerned about doing too much or being exposed to people because this is when my blood counts are at their lowest. It is another reason why life is so interrupted. I think I need to break out of this because, other than a daily walk in the evening, I am not doing much (did kick butt at Scrabulous). Oh yeah I fixed the sprinklers. And I watched the stock market go up and down like a yo yo.
We recently watched a documentary DVD called Jesus Camp. That was an eye opener. Kids as young as 10 being indoctrinated and essentially brainwashed by the Evangelical church. These kids are certainly too young to be making their own choice. But the fervor and emotion whipped up by the adult and parent leaders was awesome. Makes me see how something like the polygamist group in Texas could be so powerful in establishing a cult.
Looking forward next week, the third between treatments, should be the best week with blood counts up and feeling most normal. But then the anxiety of the next treatment round will start to set in also. The best advise truly does seem to live one day at a time.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Hair Be Gone - Part Deux
A whirlwind and an emotional roller coaster.
Due to go to Stanford leaving at 8:30AM Monday. On Sunday had tests at Kaiser lab (results needed within 24 hours of treatment) in preparation for Monday. Of course the required tests were only sent on Thursday from Stanford to Kaiser, yeah! What are the chances this will come off well? You guessed it, slim to none. So, more tests Monday morning and then the late race to Stanford. Results were slow to come in so additional tests were required at Stanford. You could say it is the kinks of coordination, but that is because I am the optimist. It will work out, and of course it did. Results all OK.
On to chemo, Stanford style. Nice reclining lounge, TV and drugs, lots of drugs. My words to the nurse, "lets kill some cancer". Once we got started it took about 3 hours, but there are a bunch of preliminaries so we didn't walk out till 7:30PM. The nurses and staff were all great, very helpful.
I was feeling fine so off we went to dinner. First big mistake. I knew this too. Never eat some of your favorite foods around chemo time. And eat light. Who was listening to this advice? Not me. Well I paid for it when we got home and I got very familiar with the porcelain goddess, all night long. As you can tell I am feeling somewhat better now, almost 24 hours later. Lesson learned.
Unfortunately, my wife and caregiver didn't just have one patient on her hands, but two. Our 19 year old cat, Sienna has been battling to stay with us for the past couple of months. The vet unfortunately ran out of rabbits to pull out of her hat this time. So Sienna came home this morning for the last time. We had the vet come by and put him to sleep about noon today, very peaceful. Sienna has been a wonderful son and we will both miss him a lot. Carol was especially close with him, as he had the habit of following her around like a duck, wanting to be wherever she was. That couldn't be because he was spoiled, I am sure. The truth is I was jealous of him.
Finally, I think is is time to see the barber. It took 3 weeks but there is no denying it, look out Kojak here I come.
Due to go to Stanford leaving at 8:30AM Monday. On Sunday had tests at Kaiser lab (results needed within 24 hours of treatment) in preparation for Monday. Of course the required tests were only sent on Thursday from Stanford to Kaiser, yeah! What are the chances this will come off well? You guessed it, slim to none. So, more tests Monday morning and then the late race to Stanford. Results were slow to come in so additional tests were required at Stanford. You could say it is the kinks of coordination, but that is because I am the optimist. It will work out, and of course it did. Results all OK.
On to chemo, Stanford style. Nice reclining lounge, TV and drugs, lots of drugs. My words to the nurse, "lets kill some cancer". Once we got started it took about 3 hours, but there are a bunch of preliminaries so we didn't walk out till 7:30PM. The nurses and staff were all great, very helpful.
I was feeling fine so off we went to dinner. First big mistake. I knew this too. Never eat some of your favorite foods around chemo time. And eat light. Who was listening to this advice? Not me. Well I paid for it when we got home and I got very familiar with the porcelain goddess, all night long. As you can tell I am feeling somewhat better now, almost 24 hours later. Lesson learned.
Unfortunately, my wife and caregiver didn't just have one patient on her hands, but two. Our 19 year old cat, Sienna has been battling to stay with us for the past couple of months. The vet unfortunately ran out of rabbits to pull out of her hat this time. So Sienna came home this morning for the last time. We had the vet come by and put him to sleep about noon today, very peaceful. Sienna has been a wonderful son and we will both miss him a lot. Carol was especially close with him, as he had the habit of following her around like a duck, wanting to be wherever she was. That couldn't be because he was spoiled, I am sure. The truth is I was jealous of him.
Finally, I think is is time to see the barber. It took 3 weeks but there is no denying it, look out Kojak here I come.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Clinical Trial - Stanford
On Monday 6/30 Carol and I went to see Dr. Ganjoo at Stanford. After an exam and discussion I signed the paperwork to enroll in her clinical trial. This trial uses the standard chemo therapy (CHOP) in conjunction with a test drug (Avastin). The hope is that this combination will work better than either by themselves. Avastin works to block the growth of blood vessels to tumors thereby cutting them off from their supply of oxygen and helping to kill them. I will be receiving the first treatment on 7/7/08.
My strength has been returning more each day and for the past week I have felt almost normal. Have been walking every day and went to the gym the past 2 days. The tumor under my left arm has continued to shrink and is probably smaller now than it was before this whole thing exploded June 7th. So the good news is that the chemo has worked.
The hope now is for a complete remission. After the 3rd round of chemo there will be an evaluation of my status to see how good the response has been. A new Pet/CT will be taken to compare with the one taken on June 14th. The hope is that it will not show anything. If it does not show any activity that will be considered a complete response. It is not the same as a cure. There really is no known cure. If you go for 5 years without any detectable activity (tumors) that is about as close to a cure as there is in the cancer world.
Wish me luck.
My strength has been returning more each day and for the past week I have felt almost normal. Have been walking every day and went to the gym the past 2 days. The tumor under my left arm has continued to shrink and is probably smaller now than it was before this whole thing exploded June 7th. So the good news is that the chemo has worked.
The hope now is for a complete remission. After the 3rd round of chemo there will be an evaluation of my status to see how good the response has been. A new Pet/CT will be taken to compare with the one taken on June 14th. The hope is that it will not show anything. If it does not show any activity that will be considered a complete response. It is not the same as a cure. There really is no known cure. If you go for 5 years without any detectable activity (tumors) that is about as close to a cure as there is in the cancer world.
Wish me luck.
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