Still Alive After Five

"Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind

I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah"

Breaking out in a little bit of song after chemo day 5 on Monday. "Bold talk for a one eyed fat man" (actually skinny with glasses)? Stay tuned for the next few years, we'll see.

As you can tell I feel surprising well on T+1. Hope it continues. It is really true that each time is different and unpredictable. I could feel my blood pressure rising as the time approached and it was in fact true. At the doctors visit BP was 110 at the infusion room it went up to 120, still low but my BP has been running low (100 - 110) for a long while.

So the future looks like this: Hopefully only one more treatment, on 9/29. Then a follow up Pet/CT scan to verify my official status. Assuming all is as well as we think then no more treatments. Then on to ASCT (autologous stem cell transplant). Kaiser is in the process of reviewing this for approval. Will be performed at Stanford. More details later, as they become available.

In November we are going to go lay on the beach in Maui for 11 days, Yeah. I am more than looking forward to this. Some semblance of normalcy at last.

I have found that my eyes have been affected by the chemo (prednisone). Hopefully this will be temporary. I have been experiencing dizziness that is most pronounced during the middle of the 3 week cycle. but I have finally come to the conclusion that at least a part of this is due to eye strain that I am getting as I read. Since it is probably transient it is hard to do anything about it till the treatments are over for a while and my eyes stabilize so that I can have my vision checked and maybe a new prescription. So it is something I need to live with for the short term. Annoying, especially since reading is a good pastime during this.

This past weekend I managed to get in a great mountain bike ride at Tahoe with Jeff and his cousin John. This is the first time I have been on a bike for months. It felt good, but I was exhausted afterward. We went to visit Seneca Pond the place where the Angora fire of a year ago started. The area around the pond has all kinds of trails and is good riding. Looking at it I have no idea how they can tell this is where the fire started. They must be good detectives.

Politics continues to take center front stage. The latest page turner of VP candidate Palin has been a brilliant ploy to distract attention from the important national issues we are faced with. My hat is off once again to Karl Rove and his team of manipulators.

I continue to be amazed at how easily black is made to be white. The Republicans are effectively co opting the change message and they are paining the Democrats as tax and spend, while claiming they alone can keep America safe. It totally amazes me that the Republicans can tell you with a strait face that Palin has foreign policy experience because Alaska is the closest state to Russia and it borders Canada. A classic black being made white. It is outrageous for the Republicans to claim the fiscal responsibility high ground considering the past 8 years of fiscal irresponsibility. I begin to wonder anew if Democrats know how to win. They seem to be outclassed when it comes to mudslinging and maneuvering.

Today I had too much time on my hands and was alternately watching FOX and CNBC, polar opposites in the political spectrum. To me it is depressing. The gulf that divides these two opinions is enormous. I say opinions, because they both can't be talking about the facts or they would not be so different. It really makes me wonder if is possible to bring the country any closer together. Bringing the country closer is my hope and I tend to believe Obama is more likely to do this, if he gets the chance. I think McCain is a good and honest man. However reading about some of his advisers, it is distressing to see that they come from various factions of the neocon movement. The question is how much influence do they have?

Hopefully the debates can bring the issues that are at stake back into focus. But I wish I felt more confident with only 50 days to go.

The good news, the decision will be made soon, yeah.

Thanks to all my friends and family for their continuing support.